Family Time! Whitney says "It's fun to be one!"

Whitney was ready to open presents, so she just jumped right in! I guess she had mastered unwrapping at Christmas--she got plenty of practice!

This weekend was cousin Whitney's birthday party! The Clark-a-Lark cried on and off through the whole party! Whitney was so adorable, as usual. She loved opening presents and she dived face first into her own little cake. It's so fun to see these little cousins together! This picture is about the best we could get. Whitney wanted to play with her toys and was "posed" out! Yes, he is three months old and she is one year!

Pictures of Little Man

Tummy Time CAN be fun!

Smiling is my favorite!

Little Man's Favorite activity!

Appointment with RE

So, now that we can say that the little man is here to stay, we feel like it is time to explore our options for pregnancy. I know it may sound a little crazy to talk about getting pregnant with a three month old in the house, but after TTC for over a year... Well, there is just no telling how long it will take. We want our little man to have brothers and sisters. And, I have to admit, this entire adoption process has made me feel so powerless over the life of MY child. Having to let the birth father have visitation... It made me realize that I am not in control of my emotions anymore... Not when it comes to my little man.

Our appointment is on Monday. I will fill you in on all the details. Right now our plan is to get started in Feb (Little Man will be 4 months then). But, I guess it all depends on what the doctor says.

Little man was in a great mood this morning and he even enjoyed his "tummy time!" This is a huge deal, since he normally screams the entire time! I have figured out that he now cries right before he falls asleep. He doesn't want to nap and miss out on anything! He's officially teething, and he weighs over 16 lbs! We're looking for a sling that it comfortable to wear with such a big boy! So far all of them give me a back ache after a few minutes. He is such a smiley little guy... He even makes me smile first thing in the morning before my first cup of coffee (which is tough since I am NOT a morning person!).

Adoption Without Consent

For the past three months, DH and I have had the joy of watching our little man grow and change and each moment has been special, especially since he is our miracle. He is the answer to our prayers; the child we could not conceive ourselves because God knew he was already forming in another woman. When I say miracle, I mean it. We started the adoption process in May and we were chosen in July. That just doesn't happen! I mean, not without a serious God-plan.

We fell in love with him the moment we knew that he was ours. For us, that was the moment that we got the call that we had been selected by our birthmother. I know that it may sound naive, but the thought really never crossed my mind that it wouldn't work out. I just felt like it would and I refused to even think of any other possibility... Even when we found out that the birth father was not going to sign consent. I look back now and I think that we must have been nuts. I mean, seriously, the writing was on the wall that this was not going to be easy. We just didn't think anything else could go wrong, I guess. I mean isn't having a child the most natural thing on the planet? Why couldn't we just get pregnant? By the time we were chosen, we just thought "this is it. This is the reason..."

And then... He was here... And he was in our arms... Seriously, there are no words for the moment that I first saw him. I just knew he was my son. I have never felt so much love and so overwhelmed in my life...

Then, the birth father showed up to challenge the adoption. It seems that he is now engaged to someone else and they want to raise "his boy" together. DH and I talked with him, showed him pictures of our son's nursery... Still he was certain that he had to object to the adoption.

So for the past three months we have been going to court, praying, and waiting with trepidation. I have been so scared to fall madly in love with my little man, but unable not to. I have been so angry that I could understand why someone would take another person's life. I have cried so many tears. I have never been so scared in my entire life, literally another human being (the judge) got to make the decision whether we would parent our son... Or not... As much of a blessing as it has been to watch our little man row and change, the thoughts keep coming. the fear ate at me. Every decision came down to "will he be with us or not?"--from buying summer clothes on sale to booking our summer vacation.

Today, DH attended the final hearing (little man and I couldn't go because he has been sick and can't travel). All morning I tried to keep my mind off of the trial and just keep working. Yeah, that worked! At 12:30 he called to tell me that court was in recess. At 1:15 he called to tell me... We can adopt our little man without the birth father's consent! We have our forever child. Do you want to know the first thing that I did? I bought him a credit card worth of summer clothes-just because now I know that he will be here to wear them. I swear, it is all the little things that I kept thinking of. Knowing that if he was anywhere but with us, that we would never be the same and that we would never be able to put him out of our minds. I mean, I worried that someone else wouldn't cut his fingernails the right way, that he would be cold if he wasn't wrapped up in his burito blanket, that someone else may not know the difference in his cries and the way he likes to be held when he eats.

Now, I can exhale. I didn't realize that I have been holding my breath for 3 months. I didn't realize all the tiny moments that flash through my mind with a single glance at my beautiful son. I didn't realize that all could be right with the world in one single moment. That moment was 1:15 PM on January 13, 2009. Our son is home, forever. We will try our very best to give him the life without limits that his birthmom wants for him.